just right

This is all still so new to me...I was this close to living in Mexico when, at the last minute, the universe presented me with a different choice. All I ever wanted was to be somewhere that truly feels like home. But I've learned that home is where you make it, and everyone's journey to happiness looks different.

Right now, I believe I've made the right choice and I'm going to learn so much.

LET ME FALL IF I MUST FALL. THE ONE I WILL BECOME WILL CATCH ME.

what contributes to my happiness?

I find solace in being out where I am small compared to Mother Nature-where words are not needed, yet everything around me speaks. The machine sounds disappear. The chattering, the beeps, the chaos inside me and around me becomes quiet. I find peace in the roaring breezes, the swaying trees, the sky as it changes. 
The sky. Oh wow.

Let me tell you about the sky.

 In my darkest times, I would lie beneath it, asking the universe for strength. 

I asked for the strength to accept the things I cannot change. 

I asked for the strength to carry on. 

I cried under the sky. I slept beneath it, stubborn in my desperation for the universe to grant me the strength I thought I lacked.

One day, the answer came.

The universe whispered, I do not need to give you strength. You already have it.

I stopped looking to the sky for strength and instead repeat to myself I have the strength to accept the things I cannot change. I have the strength to carry on.

Now, when I look at the sky, I remember that everyone I love-no matter how far-is beneath this same sky at this very moment. And in that realization, they feel close. I carry them with me always, they are a part of who I am. We share the same love, the same sky.

When I am in nature, everything goes still. So still that I can feel those who are no longer here in physical form.

My grandpa is with me. He dances in the trees. He hugs me in the wind. The sun shines, the water flows, and I know he follows me through life. They all do.

Nature contributes to my happiness in ways I cannot fully explain. I have battled the feeling of loneliness for much of my life, but out here, I feel a part of something greater.